Five Good Men

I am thinking about five good men in my sphere of attention who have died quite unexpectedly or suddenly this year. All were well loved by many; all virtuous in their own unique ways and all will be greatly missed. Some were known to me personally but not famous. Others were famous or became famous at death, but were not known to me personally. Yet there is a common thread going on in these stories that I am having trouble putting into words other than they are five good men who were well loved and whose lives were snuffed out much faster than anyone could have imagined. In all cases, their sudden or quick deaths brought widespread visibility to their lives. Listed in order of when they died, by their first names and relationship to me.    

1. DAVID: Uncle . . age-related ailment and complications (age: 80 something) http://www.livingtreasureslosalamos.org/details.php?e=84

 2. SHANE: Family friend and father figure to my son for quite a few years. . . complications from cancer (age: 50 something) http://www.morrisnilsen.com/obituary/shane-r-hansell/

 3. TIM: Work colleague . . . depression/suicide (age: almost 30) http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/08/tim_allen_timberwolves_blogger_dead_by_suicide_at_29.php

4. JAHN: Friend of an old friend, and public figure among Jewish believers in Jesus and friends of theirs . . . quick death caused by brain injury from a fall on stairs in a NYC subway station (age: 60 something) http://blog.jforj.com/jhanmoskowitz

 5. CHRIS: Ambassador to Libya . . . . . terrorism/political-religious violence in a volatile country where he served nobly (age: 40 something) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Stevens_(diplomat) 

I guess the thread is something like this: We do not know how long we have those we love to be among us. We do not fully recognize some people’s great virtues until they are suddenly taken from us and those virtues shine crystal clear. Each of these people was uniquely special and made a deep impression and impact on those around them. The thought I keep having now is that we should keep on keeping on doing what we do best and being who we authentically are. Also we should not miss the glorious opportunities that we have every day to savor the life we are given in the here and now,.

From "The Rib" to House Sharing . . And My Name On a Lease

"The Rib" was a female students' house associated with "The Mustard Seed," which housed young men.

The Mustard Seed started as a house fellowship . . looked like a "commune," but it was all about nondenominational Bible study, evangelism and fellowship. The two guys who started it came from the House of Agape "Jesus people" group in Kansas City in the early '70s. Of those two guys, one became a businessman and also, I think, a professor somewhere . . and the other one became a full-time career missionary with an internationally known evangelistic group, Jews for Jesus.

As they began moving toward their future careers post-KU and post_Mustard Seed, the fellowship transitioned to leadership primarily under Nick and Ineke Willems. One of their sons also assumed leadership. Today, The Mustard Seed is a full-sized church in west Lawrence.

It was an interesting year living with a group that was about half students and half non students. There were very differing life landscapes among those of us who lived there, but it was a convenient, friendly and economical place to live that school year. It also happened to be a block and a half from my grandparents' house, so it was easy for me to see them often!

Near the end of our year living at "The Rib" on 16th Street in Lawrence, we learned that the house was going to be prepared to be sold, and that we would all need to find new places to live. I think I probably would have been ready to move on anyway. It was a pleasant year, but, well, I was at a time of life when I enjoyed having new experiences with the passage of time.

I had applied and been admitted to live in a "scholarship hall" at KU, a university-sponsored coop-style housing option right near Fraser Hall, for my next school year. My Aunt Martha had told me how much she loved living in a "schol hall" while at KU, and the location couldn't be beat! Right next to so many classroom buildings. Furthermore, it would be economical, which was important. I was kind of excited about it, but . . . at the same time, going to live there without a Mustard Seed friend in tow would have been like venturing into unknown social territory. Most Mustard Seed people ended up living with others in one way or another, whether agreeing to share dorm rooms or renting apartments or houses together, etc. (Quite a few married off at young ages, too.)

I wasn't really afraid to venture out, but . . . I also did not really have much time to weigh the options very carefully and think it through, because everything was happening pretty fast, what with the end of the school year fast approaching, getting news that I was admitted to a schol hall for the next year and getting the news that "The Rib" was going to cease to be in operation as it had been for a number of years. (Allegedly, anyway! In fact, Bob M. and his wife, P., very soon thereafter bought the house from Steve C. and resurrected the group living arrangement somewhat, within a year or so! But at the time I needed to be making housing decisions for the next year, this development had not yet transpired. We just had the word that we would need to move on . . . so I took that idea as a given.)

 OK, well, right at that time, Pat O. and I had become closer friends, especially right after my cat was killed by a car and she spent time commiserating with me about that. It was a relatively trivial matter, I suppose, and also predictable, but she was the only person around (in or near The Rib) who understood what it meant to me and showed the heartfelt sympathy I needed at that time. This, along with many things we had in common (above all, an Oklahoma background, plus sort of passive personalities), led us to spend more time growing a friendship. She pretty quickly asked, "How about if we rent a house together?"

Well, that sounded potentially fun and I was willing to consider it, despite the schol hall tentative plan. One complication, however, was that she believed we should rent a house right away, beginning in summer. I did not have much of an income or savings at all (my father paid my basic monthly expenses) and summer was an academic unknown. I had applied for an "undergraduate research grant," and if I was accepted for that, then I would have income. If not, I wouldn't be ready to pay for anything til fall. I do not remember the exact timing of everything but somehow, within a short period of time, everything shook out like this: (1) I decided to rent a house with Pat and turn down the schol hall opportunity.

Throughout my life, I used to wonder how things might have gone differently if I had not made that decision. But I did not torment myself with the question. In hindsight, it might have been a better choice in some ways. Being right on campus would have been stimulating, I think. But the house sharing plan had its pluses, for sure, so there is no point in indulging in "what ifs." It was just one of those pivotal decisions that had to be made quickly, and once I made it,

I followed through. (2) I did get the undergraduate research grant! So I would have income for the summer. I seem to recall that it was about $965 total and somehow, in 1977, that was enough to do all the things I proceeded to do that summer! (3) Pat and I found a two-bedroom house down at 2134 Massachusetts that was affordable and simple and nice. I somewhat regretted not having our own rooms (we would be doubling up, two people in each bedroom) and also regretted not being closer to campus as I had always been . . . but after looking around quite a bit before we found that one, we ended up thinking it was a good place.

In Pat's and my room, there was a nice walk-in closet, which sometimes became my studying space for brief periods as needed if the rest of the house got too busy! I was sometimes teased for that but a quiet study space was essential with all the heavy-reading courses I was taking.

In my next blog post, I will describe the house at 2134 Massachusetts and tell about my memories of life there, which spanned a 12-month period. (I am having trouble making spaces between paragraphs. Hopefully I can figure out why and fix that soon. Meanwhile, I will leave the post as is.)

Next home: "the Rib," 1976-77.

The significance of the first photo on this page, a photo of a snowball bush, will be explained in the last paragraph of this blog entry.

The second photo on this page shows the front porch of the house where I lived my sophomore year at KU: 312 W. 16th St in Lawrence, KS. I haven't been able to find a photo of the whole house while it was yellow, the color it was when I lived there, so this will do for now. I also haven't been able to find a photo of myself and the house.

The Rib: Home for "Girls"

The house was called "The Rib" because it was intended as a house for females when "the Mustard Seed," a house kitty-corner behind it, was inhabited by males. (As we read in Genesis, woman was made by God taking a rib from the first man and crafting it into a complementary "helpmate" for him.)

I Was "Just 19" if You Know What I Mean

I am not aware of any similar photo of myself and this house, although I would love to have one if one ever turns up. Although the young lady in this photo (Pam, who is now a Facebook friend of mine) did not live there when I did, the photo is pretty contemporary with the time I was there -- probably within a few months or so of the time frame I was there, which was fall of 1976-spring of 1977. I no doubt sometimes sat on those same steps in a similar manner. I was 19 years old when I moved in.

Why "the Rib"?

I had several reasons for deciding to live there that school year. First of all, I had been an active participant in the Mustard Seed fellowship that had its physical origins in the nearby house at 1538 Tennessee Street. I believe the Mustard Seed as a loosely organized charismatic Christian fellowship group had its beginnings in Lawrence in 1973. I will double check that year and change it here if necessary. There is an entire book that lays out many of the early events in that group, entitled History of the Mustard Seed by Nick Willems, published a couple of years ago. I do not intend to go into all of that in detail here, but rather, focus on my experience in this house. Anyway, I had been involved in the Mustard Seed during my freshman year at KU, while living in Corbin Hall.

Leadership at "the Rib"

The "Rib" house was "headed" by a young couple from the Mustard Seed named Pieter and Alice Willems. I believe they had just been married a couple of years or less, not sure about that. I assume they were allowed to live there rent free in exchange for keeping order for those of us girls who lived there. Pieter was a graduate student at KU majoring in counseling psychology. (Today, he is the pastor of the now-pretty-large Mustard Seed Church -- located quite a bit west of the KU area -- the present-day incarnation of the original house-based group. Alice became pregnant during the year that I lived there. I believe that Pieter and Alice went on to have about 5 kids.) I guess Pieter and Alice didn't have that much privacy for a young married couple, living in a house of a bunch of students and such. But they were gracious and kind people to be around. I remember enjoying their presence. I think we may have had short weekly meetings during which we divvied up housekeeping chores, although I don't recall for sure.

Mealtime

We ate our evening meals over at the "the Seed," as we called the Tennessee Street house, along with the folks who lived there (all males plus another married couple.) All of us took turns signing up for cooking or after-dinner clean-up duties. With quite a few people in the two houses, we only needed to do one of those duties about once a week. Weekends, breakfast and lunch were "on our own," and I think we all kept our own food for those times in separate areas of the refrigerator, although to be honest, I don't remember that aspect in detail.

Ownership

Both houses had the same owner, Steve Churchill, who together with Bob Mendelsohn had started the Mustard Seed in '73 if that's when it was. (Today, Bob is leader of Jews for Jesus in Australia; here is a recent video of him singing one of the songs we used to sing at the Mustard Seed Bible studies: . Steve has been a successful businessman for many years.) I believe both had moved out by the fall of 1976, and that the Mustard Seed house was headed by a couple named Dave and Darlene, who had a similar role for that house as Pieter and Alice at our house.

As I understand, Steve and Bob had started out in partnership through their association in the Agape fellowship in Kansas City, where I had been a participant since about 1972, but I did not know them personally in Kansas City.

The Role of the Mustard Seed in Our Lives at "the Rib"

I don't believe we had organized prayer groups at either house while I was living at the Rib (I could be wrong there), but I believe we all "went to the Mustard Seed" most Sunday evenings, which by then was quite a growing and evolving organized quasi church-like group, meeting in a nearby school gymnasium about 2 long blocks south of "the Rib." Leadership in the Mustard Seed fellowship was in the process of transition from Bob to the Willems family during that period of time. The houses had become more a place for a bunch of us to live than a hub of activity like Bible studies, as had originally been the case. At least that's what I recall. Memories do get fuzzy over the years, so I could be wrong on some of these details!

Background & Connections

The reason I got clued in on the Mustard Seed before even arriving at KU was that a number of my friends at my high school (Shawnee Mission South in nearby Overland Park) who were a year older than I was, had been involved. One of them, Chris Haas, lived in the Mustard Seed house the year before I lived in the Rib. (He went on to become a history professor specializing in ancient history focusing on the spread of Christianity throughout Europe.) These friends' welcome provided a natural segue from Agape to the Mustard Seed by way of the connection with them. I then of course went on to make many new friends in the Mustard Seed.

Drawing Cards

Anyway, I moved into "the Rib" after spending a summer in Mexico through KU's summer abroad program. I think monthly rent at the Rib was quite inexpensive -- something like $85 a month, though not sure about that, since dinners were included and that sounds kind of low. Whatever it was, I know that economical living had been one of the drawing cards for me (as opposed to living in a dorm again), since my father sponsored my tuition and living costs at KU completely and we did not rely on student loans at all -- and I was a very full-time student, working few hours or none at all. In fact, I do not remember working that school year, but I always carried a heavy academic load -- so much so that I graduated at the end of three years plus one summer "with distinction" (one notch down from "with honors.") A quiet environment for studying was very important to me, and I think the Rib was usually pretty quiet. Living with Christians who did not drink or party was a priority for me for a number of reasons.

Family Ties

The Rib was also attractive to me because it was located just a block and a half from my grandparents' house. They had moved to Lawrence during the summer of 1975, and during all my years at KU, I spent lots of time with them, which was generally relaxing and enjoyable time together. They did not want me to "help" them, which I assumed I would do since they were 76 and 84 years old the year I was at the Rib. Rather, they seemed to want to "take care of me" as if I were a child. I sometimes even spent Saturday night at their house, went to their church with them and ate Sunday meals with them in a restaurant or at their house, and they insisted that I be a guest, not helping much with cooking or cleaning up, even. But they seemed to love my company, and I enjoyed the homelike familiarity. I was always welcome at their home and in their lives. They also hosted lots of family events at their house like birthdays, Easter dinners, graduations and pre-wedding gatherings for my cousins, aunts and uncles, siblings, our parents and myself. (My parents lived about an hour away, so my mother came to town fairly often to visit my grandparents, too -- another drawing card for living at the Rib.)

All in All a Winner of a Choice

So living at the Rib allowed me to continue friendships with Mustard Seed people, stay connected with family by living within walking distance of my grandparents' house -- which was a gathering place for my extended family, be able to walk to campus for my KU life and also live economically in an informal setting in a historic home, which was my favorite kind of house to be in (and still is; the house that I own today was built in 1924. The Rib house was probably built in the very early 1900s.)

Roomies

I believe that the other girls in the house were Kathy the music major and pianist, another Kathy who I think was working somewhere during that year; don't recall that she was a student, but I'm not sure about that (I understand that she later did, in fact, go on to get a masters degree in English at KU, some years later); Rocky, my roommate who was very young, from Tonganoxie and also not in school; and Pat, who had her own bedroom downstairs and was a cello student at KU intending to major in music therapy. We shared a common background of being from Oklahoma, among other things.

Students and Otherwise

I was originally disappointed when I moved in to discover that not all residents of the Rib were KU students, as I really wanted to live with students who would have similar schedules and priorities. But we all got along OK, as I recall. Rocky and I shared a bunk bed! I think she worked evenings, which made it possible for me to use the room for studying. I brought two of my own pieces of furniture from Overland Park: my dresser and a wooden desk belonging to my mother. If for any reason I needed a quiet place to study and the house wasn't quiet for some reason, I could use the KU library nearby or my grandparents' house, where I think I did take refuge a few times for study purposes.

Ambiance

I remember lots of hours in warm weather (which would have been the first and last couple of months of the school year) hanging out with one of the Kathys or Pat or anyone else on the screen porch and enjoying some leisurely porch time. I recall that the house was full of garage sale type furniture. At the end of the school year, we heard that the house was gong to be sold and that some clutter around here and there needed to be removed. So Pat and I, with Pieter's permission, helped ourselves to a few items including some china dishes and a big old manual typewriter (Pat took that). That was kind of fun.

A Funny Old Car on Loan

I also remember once when the Kathy who was not a student was lent a car to use by someone in the Mustard Seed that was about a 1949 or so car! It had buttons to push to change gears! I did not have a car, as she didn't, and for whatever reasons (which I don't recall now), I was allowed to borrow it a few times to get places, and found it a real hoot to drive.

Huey the Cat

Another standout memory was when my brother, who lived a few blocks away, had a cat that he needed to get rid of in a hurry because of severe allergies. The cat had been the kitten of my sister's Persian cat in Overland Park. He had very thick long, white hair and his name was Huey. We had been told "no pets" in the Rib, but I asked Pieter if I could please keep Huey in the basement at the Rib for a short time. He said OK. Pat was a little jealous because she had been told she could not bring her Siamese cat to live with her in the Rib, but she, like others at the Rib, were soon won over by Huey, who had a very friendly, likable personality. (I, on the other hand, was jealous that she had her own room, with no roommate . . . )

Although he supposedly lived in the basement, I was allowed to take Huey to my room (which I shared with Rocky) for visits with the door closed, which I did often. When warm springtime arrived, we started letting him outside for short periods of time, and he always hung out around the back door of the house, so we thought it was safe. I don't recall whether he was "fixed," but sooner or later the inevitable happened, and Huey was killed in traffic on Tennessee Street. It was of course short-sighted of me to allow him to go outside so close to that street.

Pat Was a Kind Friend the Night Huey Died

Anyway, Pat was very kind and consoling the night that I was grieving Huey's death. I don't remember whether his body was returned to me by the police or just his collar with my name, address and phone number on it. (If his body was returned to me, then Pat and I must have buried him somewhere, but I honestly don't remember that part for sure.) In any case, Pat and I had a nice conversation that I clearly remember in which I told her liked to imagine that the matter of Huey's body would be recycled into some beautiful feature of nature, and we came up with the idea that he might be reincarnated as a "snowball bush."

At the end of the school year, Pat and I moved out, rented a house at 2134 Massachusetts, and recruited two other Mustard Seed girls to live there with us.

I will write about life at that house in another blog entry!

Photo credits:

(1) Snowball bush photo taken from the Internet from this source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jim-ar/4564974989/

(2) Photo of Pam in front of "the Rib" provided by Bob Mendelsohn.

Summer Abroad: Guadalajara

The summer between my freshman year and sophomore year at KU, I did a "summer abroad" experience in Guadalajara, Mexico, organized and sponsored by the Spanish department at the university. As I recall, I paid for it myself! Amazing that it was that affordable. The finances came from some weekend and Christmas vacation waitressing at a Chinese restaurant, and also from working in the cafeteria dormitory at Corbin several mornings a week, serving breakfast. I thought that was an easy way to make money; all I lost out on was a little snoozing late in the mornings. I was excited by all the tips I made at the Chinese restaurant (back in Overland Park) during every major break during the year. Didn't realize til many years later that I was supposed to declare those tips . . .oops . . . um . . never mind. OK.

Anyway, I was able to pay for tuition, bus transportation and room and board in Guadalajara with money saved all year. (My father kindly supported me at KU so I did not have to worry about the basics during the year). OK, well, to get to Guadalajara, I took a Greyhound bus to the border of Mexico, where I was met by my Mexican beau. He took me to the home of some cousins to stay for a week or so before going on to Guadalajara. He accompanied me on my bus ride down there, which was an overnight bus from Monterrey.

First Home in Guadalajara: Room and Board
I arrived at the home of some older ladies who took in room & board students. I shared a room with an American girl (KU student whom I hadn't known before) at this house for one month. It was pleasant enough. I remember the big garden out one of their windows. They had created a cascading garden on a rocky wall . . and that was the view from their living room. I learned to take the bus to the campus where my KU classes were. Went to a church led by missionaries on Sunday evenings. Went to Tlaquepaque and the main plaza of Guadalajara pretty often . . . sometimes alone and sometimes with other KU students. My very favorite place that I visited was Lake Chapala. I still fantasize about living there in my old age. Who knows, could happen.

Second Home: Ofelia's House
Meanwhile, at the church I was going to, I made friends with a Mexican young lady named Ofelia. She invited me to live in her house. At the end of the month, my roommate was going to move out, and the old ladies I was living with were going to raise the rent on me, being just one person. Instead, I moved to Ofelia's house for the second month. I think I must have photos of some of these things, but not very many. I don't think I took pictures of the houses that I lived in, for some strange reason. To illustrate this blog entry, I will have to borrow some photo of Guadalajara from the Internet.

When Summer Was Over
Will go find such a photo now! And hope to expand on this entry pretty soon. At the end of the summer, my Mexican beau once again came to escort me back to Monterrey, where I was met by my parents who drove down with my little sister for a brief vacation! They all visited Galeana, the little mountain village that he was from, and where the mission was that received some financial support from my parents' church in Kansas City. After that, they and I returned home by a long route: through Chihuahua (where we saw the home of Pancho Villa's widow -- and she was there! Still alive!) and New Mexico (where we visited an aunt of mine -- sister of my father.) Then home. And pretty soon, it would be time to go back to KU, where I was planning to live in the "Rib." In my next entry, I will explain what the Rib was.

(I borrowed that photo from somewhere on the Internet. Here is the URL: http://www.destination360.com/north-america/mexico/images/s/mexico-guadalajara-s.jpg. I did see this cathedral in Guadalajara many times that summer.)

Leaving Home: My First Home Away From Home (#4)

I spent a couple of summers in Mexico before actually leaving home, but I will save description of the Mexico trips for another blog.

At the Dorm

This one will be about my first home away from home after graduating from high school (in Overland Park, a southwestern suburb of the Greater Kansas City area). I think my high school graduating class had 700+ students in it. Lots of us headed over to Lawrence, Kansas, to the University of Kansas, just less than an hour drive away. A new piece of highway was completed sometime in my early days at KU, making it a very easy drive.

Why KU?

I had considered going to the University of Texas at Austin because of their great Spanish department, which was going to be my major, but there was no source that I knew of the extra money I would need beyond the cost of going to KU, which was what my father said he could and would sponsor. In-state tuition at KU in those days was about $250/semester or less. Housing in the most affordable dormitory, double occupancy, was about $1300 for the year if I remember correctly. Can that be true? Or was that per semester? It was pretty cheap, anyway!

Corbin and GSP, Freshman Girls' Dorms Side by Side

OK, so, the dorm that I stayed in was called Corbin, located several blocks north of the KU campus. It was part of a 2-dorm complex called GSP-Corbin, and was all girls. I had wanted to stay at Hashinger, a coed dorm where various of my cousins had stayed, but we sent in the dorm application too late, and I didnt get in. When I learned that various of my Christian friends from my high school were going to be in Corbin, I was less disappointed about that. But I WAS disappointed that I ended up being the odd girl out when it came to matching up with roommates, so I was going to take potluck with roommate selection. My roommate ended up being a spunky and interesting girl from Canada, named Helen. We were different in lots of ways, but got along well. Right away, she proposed coordinating our bedspreads, so we went shopping at JCPenney and got matching ones, complete with pillow shams. I still have mine! I also bought a piece of carpet to match the color scheme, which was various shades of blue.

Room Specifics

Anyway, Corbin Hall was a rather historic building, from what I understood . . . being one of the oldest dorms west of the Mississippi or something like that. Our room was basic, but had a great benefit compared to other dorms that I have seen: it had a little closet room with just a sink in it. Though not as convenient as having a toilet and/or shower there, this meant that in the mornings, we could brush our teeth, fix our hair or whatever, without disturbing each other too much. I did end up working some breakfast shifts in the dorm cafeteria, so this was beneficial.

Like a Hotel or Mansion

Otherwise, it was like a huge hotel or a huge house with many rooms. Did not look too institutional; had a more homey feeling than some dorms, which are more like office buildings or school buildings. I think there was a fireplace in a lobby on the ground floor, if I recall, and a very nice media room with stereos and such, where a person could go listen to music or record music from records to cassette tapes. I made lots of those cassette tapes for myself in preparation for my summer abroad in Mexico the following summer. There was a recreational area in the basement with a ping pong table and I'm not sure what else.

I will write more about Corbin as my memory gets jogged. For now, this is the basic run-down on my first home away from home.

Next home (#3): suburban Kansas City Colonial style

Our family was blindsided back in 1969 by a sudden need to uproot from our beloved Oklahoma City home and move to the Kansas City area because of a job change for my father.

Tough Times for Dear Old Dad

Thinking back, I take pity on him in my mind as he must have been terribly burdened by (1) learning that his company was moving to Texas . . . where he did not want to go; (2) the job hunt that landed him the Kansas City job; (3) taking care of all that needed tending with regard to both his job and the household in both places . . . the place we were leaving and the place we went to.

Parents With Their Hands Full!

Of course, my parents had a one-income, two parent marriage which meant that my mother could take care of many details regarding the family and houses in both places . . . but she also had a toddler. I honestly don't know how they did it all. They were in their mid 40s; there were four of us kids to contend with, each of us with very different losses in the old place and challenges in the new place.

Looked at 20+ Houses Til They Found "the One"

Sigh. Anyway. Move we did . . . and I think my parents said they looked at more than 20 houses in one day. "Looked at" usually meant going inside. I don't know how many days they had for the house search. I do know that they ended up with a two-story red brick house in a large suburb of Kansas City which, housewise, was an amazing find.

Four (later five) BR, four baths, corner lot, swimming pool

Four bedrooms. Four bathrooms. SWIMMING POOL. Large corner lot . . . again! (We have a thing in this family for corner lots!). Large basement with lots of potential for creative uses . . . and indeed, in our first few months there, my father worked hard to build a bedroom for my oldest brother down there. It was a functional and cozy room . . . . but had no window. I'm not sure why he didn't build the room on a wall with a window. Anyway, the rest of us found it to be a novelty, and often used it in later years for such things as watching movies (since it could get totally dark). I don't remember feeling that the air was stifling or stale or anything like that.

Blue Carpet!

OK, I'm getting off topic. The house was full of wall-to-wall blue carpet, which we liked! Unfortunately, it was beginning to age, so over the next ten years or so, one by one, that carpet was ripped up and either replaced or the floors left bare. Still, it made for a nice feeling house to move into when we first arrived.

A Room For Everyone

With the new bedroom in the basement for my brother, there were now essentially five bedrooms, so we each had our own. (In those first few months, my 2-year-old sister shared my room, using the trundle bed, which I thought was cute . . . but I also thought it was cute when she moved into her own room, which had a pink patterned wallpaper.)

Ground Floor

On the ground floor, there was a large kitchen with a dining area; a dining room with big windows on two walls; two bathrooms, neither of which had a bath or shower, but each of which had a designated function; a living room which was OK but had nothing special about it, a family room with a fireplace and a sliding glass door opening to the swimming pool area (and a door to the garage), and a front entrance hall with a nice light. My mother put a spring rod floor to ceiling thing by the door for us to hang our coats on, which was a good idea.

Bathrooms With Purposes

Anyway, back to the downstairs bathrooms without baths . . . we were told that one was to be the "guest powder room," and the other the "pool bathroom" since it was right by a back door which led out to the pool.

In the guest powder room, care was taken to display interesting hand towels, novelty hand soaps and the like. We were discouraged from using it on a daily basis if we could help it. (That made it enticing to use, I might add.) The pool bathroom was tiny, but had a linoleum floor and a window which looked out to the swimming pool. My mother hoped to contain any drippage of swimming pool water solely to that room, so that chlorine wouldn't drip around the rest of the house.

Swimming Pool Was Fun For Us, Headache For Father

The swimming pool provided great fun for us . . . and many headaches for my poor father. He worked hard to keep the water Ph and chlorine just right . . . . and to keep the pool in a state of good repair, without a large budget to pay some swimming pool upkeep company to do that.

This meant that when the pool liner got a rip in it, he repaired it himself. This happened more than once and turned out to be a risky endeavor, since he rented a SCUBA outfit to go underwater and do the repair. I don't think he had ever done SCUBA diving before . . . and just thinking of how dangerous this could have been still gives me the creeps even though he survived it. We won't talk about how he broke a rib, though . . . !!!

Plenty of Room, But Still Missing Oklahoma City

Anyway . . . . the house was big and spacious. The main problem about living there at first was that we teenagers were very much out of our element. We belonged back in our Oklahoma City world . . . and it took us a long time to adjust . . . if, indeed, we ever did.

Baby of the Family Grew Up There

Our younger sister, however, got to spend all her school years there, from preschool through high school graduation. She ended up moving to one of my brother's rooms after he left home. I hadn't realized that this means she actually lived in three out of the four upstairs bedrooms at one time or another!

More Bathrooms With Specific Purposes

Oh, I forgot to mention that the upstairs had two bathrooms, too. The one with a bath and shower had two sinks with a long counter between the two, and a long mirror. The master bedroom had its own bathroom, but that one had just a shower in it.

Flying From the Nest

It was a lovely house with lots to offer . . . . . but one by one, we kids moved away as soon as we could. I think my parents enjoyed themselves there most when we had all left, in fact! Because they no longer had to deal with our teenage stuff.

Some Fun Times

Anyway, when I think of that house, just from the point of view of the house itself, I remember the large corner lot with lots of flowering bushes (which I think my father planted and nurtured); the stairs with their wrought-iron railing going halfway up; the swimming pool where we frolicked with friends and visiting relatives; the basement bedroom where I held 8-mm movie showings for my siblings and friends; and the cul-de-sac street that it was on, which offered opportunities for adventures for us kids in a number of ways.

Wallpaper Was Pretty But Not "With It"

I'll add a paragraph here about my own bedroom, since it holds some memories in my mind! When we arrived, it had lovely, fancy, floral wallpaper. I don't know WHY I wanted that wallpaper removed before too long . . within a year or two. I guess because I wanted to be able to put posters on the wall .. . and with wallpaper, that was not a great idea.

A Room of My Own

Anyway, I started out sharing the room with my almost-3-year-old sister, until the basement bedroom was completed, allowing my older brother to move downstairs so my sister could move into his room. Our time sharing a room (she and I) was short enough that I thought it was a cute novelty, not a nuisance. I was 12. We had already been sharing a room back in Oklahoma City for about a year so I did not see it as a big deal. But a few months later, she moved out and the trundle bed was put back underneath.

Teenage Stuff

Shortly thereafter I started wanting to do teenagey things with my room like hanging a dramatic orange flower lamp above my bed (loved that lamp!), and put colorful posters and big flower decorations around.

Parakeet

My brother David bought me a parakeet for $1 at K-Mart, and I had a lot of fun taming and playing with that bird, whom I named "Mr. Guy" until we determined that it was a female, at which time we changed the name to "Mrs. Guy."

Cork Wall

I told my mother I wanted to cover one whole wall with cork . . . and she immediately liked that idea and helped me do it. It was a tough and messy job to remove the wallpaper and then glue cork panels all over the wall, but we did an OK job! I realized later that she was keen on the idea because it was the wall between my room and my parents' room . . . and I think my mother was often worried about me hearing voices, etc., coming from their room . . .which I never did . . . (and maybe music of mine going to their room?) -- but the cork-covered wall did insulate our rooms from each other.

Homemade Thingy Hanging From Ceiling

During my first year in that room, I got an idea from a magazine or something to make a "bitetrahedrin" (need to check the spelling) which was a 20-triangle-sided ball so to speak made out of colorful circles cut from magazines and glued together. I was very proud of that and loved having it hanging in my room for many years.

Long, Long Shelf For Dolls (Thank You, Daddy!)

I also wanted to display my dolls high near the ceiling . . .and for that purpose, my father put up a shelf that consisted of brackets and a VERY LONG piece of lumber, as long as the room itself, which was quite spacious! Maybe 15 feet long or so??? I have no idea how he got such a long piece of lumber home but I do know it was all in one piece.

My Room Was a Sewing Room

Another memory of that room was of my mother's sewing machine, which she allowed me to keep in there. At the age of 17, I made plans to go to Mexico for the summer to a mission where girls were required to wear long dresses or skirts -- below the knee or longer. Skirts near or slightly below knee length were not fashionable at all in those days (the 70s) so I made all floor length dresses and skirts! I made about 4 or 5 of them on the sewing machine. Some were favorites of mine for several years. Those were the glory days of my sewing life! Once I went to college, I never thought I had time, and never did much again.

Family Memories at Home

So all in all, I have to say that the room holds memories for me of connections with my parents, my sister and my older brother who gave me the parakeet! I always felt fond gratitude to each one who had given me something to make the room special (father -- shelves; mother -- cork wall and sewing machine; brother -- parakeet; sister -- some fun when we first moved there.) I have no memories of my other brother in connection with that bedroom. I think he rarely if ever came in. I would sometimes go to his room down the hall to admire his purple walls, weird posters and other unique stuff there. I do have memories of being in that bedroom once each with 3 or 4 different beloved males in my life later on . . . just for brief moments with each one, but I do remember those moments clearly! A whole 'nother story with each one -- but part of the history of that room in my life.

Visitors From Out of Town

Oh, just thought of two more things to tell! Or three! (1) My first years there, I had friends from Oklahoma come to visit during summers. They would come by Amtrak, which in those days was the Santa Fe. They would spend the night in there with me for several days, sleeping on the trundle bed. Later this included visits from cousins and from my Minnesota friend, too. (2) A couple of times, I got locked out of the house after school . . . and remembered that my bedroom window was unlocked. So I took my father's very tall ladder and climbed up to get in! My mother was horrified, of course! But I thought it was resourceful and fun! And no one got hurt! I don't remember any thoughts of my father's reaction. I guess he was OK with it since all went well! (3) We had a backyard swimming pool, as I mentioned above. From that bedroom, I could see the pool clearly . . . and often thought it was fun to watch people swimming if I had the opportunity!

So you see, I have quite a lot of memories of that room!

When I find a picture of this house, I'll post it here!

Home #2: 19th St. in OKC

New House: Surprise!

I was quite surprised when, at the age of 7, I learned that my parents had been talking about a move from the home where they had lived since getting married, and lived when my two older brothers and I were born, on til when I began elementary school.

The New House Was Glorious!

Before I had time to get too sad at the idea of leaving the only home I had known so far, I was introduced to the proposed new house: glorious! So many things to love about it!

• Four bedrooms upstairs, plus a "library" downstairs which could double as a guest bedroom, especially since it was right next to the downstairs bathroom, which even included a shower.
• A crystal chandelier in the dining room which sparkled like diamonds.
• White carpet throughout the downstairs . . yikes, probably a nightmare for my mother with three kids, a dog and a cat . . . but somehow it worked out.
• Regal-looking drapes in the living room.
• An attic fan which cooled the house quite well with natural outside air most of the time. Many people had central AC by then . . . but my father didn't think it was necessary, especially with that attic fan. For the hottest days, there was ONE window AC in the library, and we could take refuge in there.
• A corner lot . . . . naturally! This family seems to favor corner lots . .
• A fascinating (especially for kids) backyard complete with a sidewalk going around one half of it for flower garden viewing . . . I think the people who were selling the house had lots of monkey grass planted all around, plus lilies and whatnot . . . my father, of course, would soon embellish with his iris. The other half of the yard was a utilitarian place, with our playground equipment, a sandbox, a shed and a big "wall" of tall shrubs blocking us off for privacy's sake from the street that was right on the other side of the fence.
• A huge (in my mind then, and I think I would still think so . . . ) screen porch with a cement floor, which meant that it was OK to ride a tricycle round and round in there . . . and at age 7, that was still significant, at least for a short time. I did not yet ride a bicycle, since I had been injured on my maiden voyage on a bicycle at about age 5 or 6, in our previous neighborhood.

Old and New Neighbors
The "new" house was just a few blocks away (north, I think) from our original house, but friends and neighbors seemed to think we were making a huge social leap. I cared nothing then and still care very little about "prestige," "status" or "appearances" when it comes to where I live or what car I drive or what clothes I wear, etc. The character of the people around me and the purity of the natural environment always matter most. But apparently some of the neighbors near the first house thought we were moving away from them in more ways than just physically. We did not feel that way at all. Practically speaking, however, it's true that once we moved, we saw a lot of our new neighbors and rarely saw our previous neighbors anymore. But a visit back there was just a short walk, drive or bicycle ride away.
Memorable Milestones
While living in our second house, we/I experienced milestones including these:

• My brothers and I each quickly had a new "best friend" in the new neighborhood since a family up the street had a kid that matched us in age and gender: a girl my age and two boys the ages of my brothers. Therefore, there was lots of going back and forth between our house and theirs, pretty much from the beginning. I was in second grade and my brothers were in 5th grade and 7th grade respectively when we arrived in the new neighborhood. A few years later, however, from my point of view, a shift started to take place as I and that girl grew apart in lots of ways, not sure why. No big blowup or anything during those years, but . . . we were just less close as time went by. Still, I have lots of positive and interesting memories involving her and me, and her family. At the beginning of my fifth grade year, a new girl moved in further down the block and we became pretty good friends practically from the first day she was in class at school with me. I think I reached out to befriend her, as I recall. Pretty soon, it was she and I who were often a twosome running around the neighborhood. I remember lots of "spending the night" events with both of these girls . . . at their houses. The first girl got way too homesick to spend the night at our house. She tried a couple of times and both times, ended up going home before falling asleep. I think I was the one to spend the night at the second girl's house and not the other way around mostly because by that time, I had a baby sister sharing my bedroom! Her house offered more privacy for two 5th and 6th grade girls. Anyway, those friendships meant a great deal to me and pretty much defined the time that we spent in that neighborhood, to me.
• The house itself was great . . . . often kind of a cluttered, what with 3 kids and a baby in a very big house . . . but it offered the fundamental comforts that we needed, plus more.
• The birth of my baby sister at the beginning of my 4th grade year was of course a huge change, and she immediately became the focal point of the family. When she was 2, almost 3, we had to move to Kansas . . a huge undertaking.

I have more to say about this house. Those years (age 7-12) were a hugely formative time in my life, needless to say. But I'm running out of steam and will either add more to this entry later or will write a new entry with more info on this great house!
Note: The picture at the top of this blog was taken in 2009! The house looks the same, but there are some minor differences that only people who knew the house back then will recognize -- sidewalk, tree, garden stuff. Thanks to my childhood friend Nancy S.D. for taking this photo for me recently!